A Special Short Story : “A Misfit Christmas”
“It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas everywhere you go..”
“Are they ever gonna play some nigga music? I mean shit! They’ve been playing James Dean ever since we’ve been in this damn mall!” Tyga spat as we sat on the benches waiting patiently for the girls to come out of the hair salon.
Me,Trey and Alex laughed a little.
“That’s not James Dean you ass,that’s Bing Crosby” Drake rolled his eyes.
“Excuse the fuck outta me and happy Hanukkah and Kwanza to you,you confused nigga” Tyga said with a slight chuckle.
Me,Trey and Alex burst out laughing.
Tyga joined in on the laughter. “Shit! Gotta buy you 8 gifts and a damn kufi hat”
Alex laughed harder as he fell off the bench.
“Fuck you Illiterate ass niggas” Drake stuck up both of his middle fingers.
“Oh come on man”Trey nudged him. “You know that shit was funny”
“And you know your ass is confused as shit” I held my hand out for Alex to grab.
“I’m not confused,I’m MIXED nigga get it right” He said with a nasty attitude.
“Sensitive nigga who the fuck you talking to like that? It must be some other nigga because I know it ain’t me” I cut my eyes.
“Aight now stop,it was a damn joke. Hehe haha” Tyga shook drake’s shoulders. “Chill out,I’m mixed too”
“Whatever” Drake said dryly.
“Why you always got a attitude man?” Alex grabbed my hand and I pulled him up. “I’m the only white dude in our clique who gets picked on all the time but I don’t bitch about it”
“Look,tonight ain’t the night alright? I got a lot on my mind” He held his head down low as he stared aimlessly at the shiny floor.
“And I do too,what’s up with you not getting pussy Alex?” Tyga looked in his eyes. “When we go out,you don’t never get pussy. I wanna know why”
Alex didn’t say anything,he just planted an annoyed look on his face.
“I mean girls be coming up to your ass and shit but you never give them any play,I’m starting to think that you’re gay” He said bluntly.
“Yo,I ain’t gay..” He balled his fists up while his nostrils began to flare.
“So you feeling some girl in the house? Who? Jazmine? Onika? Robin?” He kept going.
Alex’s chest started heaving up and down.
“Look just leave him alone man..” Trey ran his hand across his cornrows. “He might just not wanna date right now or something”
“Or he might just not like girls” He said harshly. “Trey,when all of us go out..don’t we all get pussy?” He raised his eyebrows.
I stared at Alex,his face was turning plum red and the look in his green eyes was menacing. I knew the look all too well,he was ready to scrap.
“Ty why the fuck you always trying to start shit? Spare us that shit today,go shop for Onika or some shit” I waved the back of my hand.
“I already got all of her gifts an-“
“Tyga just shut the fuck up!” Drake snapped. “GOTDAMN! Shut the fuck up!”
“Do what he says” I said sternly.
He flopped down next to drake and blew air out of his nose.
I could see the pain and anger in Alex’s eyes. I stood up and moved closer to him. “Hey,don’t listen to him aight?” I whispered in his ear. “I know you’re not gay.When you’re ready to have sex,I’ll take you to a strip club and let you pick the baddest bitch in there then pay her to fuck your slim shady looking ass”
He smirked and pushed me. “Fuck you”
I laughed a little then focused my attention on a jewelry store.
Alex and Trey followed my eyes. “What did you get your boo Jazmine for Christmas?”
I sucked my teeth. “She ain’t my boo and I got her a few things but I feel like it’s not enough”
“It’s been two years now,me,you and Jazmine are 17 years old now. You need to go ahead and confess your love for her before some other nigga snatches her up” Trey said sternly. “Yo ass would be pissed if that happened”
“And you know that baby fat is gone now,she’s turning heads left and right” Alex added.
“And I ain’t gonna lie..” Tyga scratched his head. “I-I thought about fucking her before”
“Me too..” A sly smirk ran across Drake’s face.
My blood started boiling. “I thought about fucking Robin and Onika too but you don’t see me doing it right? So chill the fuck out”
“Ooh sensitive nigga” Drake said sarcastically.
“You Fred Flinstone looking mothafu-“
An chubby older white man with a white beard and a red trench coat on bumped into me. “Excuse me young man”
“Yeah fucking excuse you” I said coldly. “Anyway,you Fred Flinstone looking mothafu-“
“You have a nasty attitude young man” His eyes made me feel very uneasy. “Why such a ugly attitude on such a beautiful holiday?”
“Yeah Chris” Alex wrapped his arm around the man’s shoulders. “You should be more nicer to your elders,I’m sorry for my brother’s rudeness sir. Please do forgive him and..” Alex hugged him tightly. “Merry Christmas” He pulled away from him.
He smiled warmly. “Merry Christmas to you too young man,I’ll be seeing you soon” He nodded his head then walked away.
“Uh..Ok” Alex said slowly then laughed. “Grandpa is tripping and me?” He held a red wallet up that had the initials “s.c” on it. “I’m a few dollars richer” He smiled wide and moved his eyebrows up and down then sat down next to trey.
“Yo tell me you ain’t steal that old man’s wallet” Trey laughed.
“I sure as hell did,my pockets are low right now. I spent all my money on y’alls gifts” He started looking through the wallet.
“I thought we was done with the pick pocketing shit. We’re now seasoned bank robbers and on our way to being seasoned killers” Tyga said proudly.
These two years had been nothing but bliss for us,all because jay put us on with his crew the money gang. We were known around New York as jay’s robbers who stole anything he asked us to steal,money,cars,drugs,etc. After all these years you would think we would’ve gotten caught like the normal robbers but we were far from normal. We were quick,smart and precise. Nobody ever saw our faces because we hid them behind masks,nobody ever heard our voices because we hid them behind a special mic that made us sound like chipmunks,nobody ever knew how our bodies looked because we hid them behind baggy clothes and nobody was ever fast or smart enough to catch us. We were in and out of huge banks in less than 50 seconds which amazed not only people on the streets but also the press. Our robberies were always on the news but our faces never were. Matter of fact,the police thought we were grown people. That’s how good we were.
“I’m still on edge about this assassin shit” Drake whispered then looked around nervously. “Killing people is different than robbing them”
Jay now wanted to turn us into a group of teenage assassins,he had already made me shoot an innocent man which I did with no hesitation. I was ready to become an assassin because it meant only one thing..more money.
“I’m a little iffy about it too but I ain’t iffy about the money” Tyga rubbed his hands together as dollar signs flashed in his eyes.
“Ditto” Alex sighed. “This old man is crazy,he thinks he’s Kris Kringle”
Trey chuckled. “The fuck? What?”
He held his driver’s license up for us to see.
“Kris Kringle..” I squinted my eyes while I read the small letters. “Sleigh driver?” I screwed my face up.
“Yo get the fuck outta here!” Trey snatched the card out of his hand then held it up in the air as he read it. “I ain’t got my contacts in but shit..it does say that”
“How do you know if you ain’t got your contacts in? Tyga shook his head.
“Because nigga I know,I..” I tuned Trey out as a gold heart locket sitting in a window display caught my eyes.
I walked over to the display and stared at it. “Jazmine would love that..” I pulled my black wallet out of my jean pocket and counted my money. I had $300 on me. “Excuse me” I held my index finger up to grab the attention of a dark skinned woman who was dressed in a conservative cream colored pantsuit and coming out of the store.
“Yes?” She looked at me.
I cleared my throat. “I was wondering how much this locket cost” I pointed to it. “Do you know?”
“Yes,it costs $289” She tried to walk pass me but I grabbed her arm.
“Is that including tax?” I asked.
She sighed out of frustration. “No,including taxes it will probably be $292 or something like that. Excuse me” She yanked her arm out of my grip then power walked passed me.
I focused my attention back on the window and my eyes damn near popped out of my head when I saw the older man pointing to the locket as the clerk went to grab it.
“No,no,no” I opened the door and ran inside. I looked around the luxurious jewelry store for them,I spotted them at the counter. “Wait!” I ran over to them. “I need that” I tried to yank the necklace out of the woman’s hand but she had a tight grip on it.
“Well you can’t have it” She looked at me like I was crazy. “This man” She pointed to the old guy. “Bought it already”
I chewed on the inside of my jaw to keep myself from snapping. “Ok,do you have anymore?”I let the locket go.
“No,this was the last one” She put it in a white plush box then a bag and gave it to him.
“Ok now hold the fuck up” I held my hand up. “You telling me that’s the last fucking LOCKET in this JEWELRY STORE? Why the fuck do you call yourself a jewelry store then? One fucking locket? ONE FUCKING LOCKET?” I slapped the bowl full of peppermints off the counter.
Her jaw dropped.
“Young man that is no way to act because you can’t get your wa-“
“Shut the fuck up and go the fuck on” I motioned my hand towards the exit,signaling for him to go. “I need the locket,I need that locket. So come up with another version of that locket quick before I turn into an angrier black man and play the race card,before the night’s over..I’ll have you on the fucking news. Keep fucking with me”
“Calm down..” He touched my shoulder and my anger instantly went away while a warm feeling came over me. “You don’t have to be so angry Christopher,Jazmine will love the gifts you got for her”
I crinkled my eyebrows. “Ho-ho-“
“I know every child’s name. I’ll see you later” He winked at me then took his hand off my shoulder and walked out of the store.
My anger came back right away. “I know every child’s name? Fucking pedophile” I ran out of the store and he was nowhere to be found. I looked around the somewhat crowded mall for his face and even his red trench coat but didn’t see either one. “The fuck? Did he just disappear?”
“Chris!” Tyga yelled.
I focused my attention on them and noticed Robin and Onika was sitting with them. I walked over to them. “Aye,did you see that old guy come out of the jewelry store?”
All of them shook their heads no.
My heart fell into the pit of my stomach.
“Anyway” Robin popped her lips. “You like my new hairdo?” She whipped her straight dark brown,medium brown ombre hair.
“And mine” Onika whipped her curly black and pink hair.
“It’s aight” I said dryly. “You SURE you didn’t see him come out of the store?”
Robin and Onika smacked their lips.
“Guys are so rude” Onika rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “We get all pretty for y’all and y’all don’t even care”
“You call getting a ghetto weave getting pretty?” Tyga smirked.
“Ugh! I can’t stand yo skinny ass!” She spat then stormed towards the mall exit.
“But you fucking my skinny ass tho!” He picked his shopping bags up then held his right hand out. “Let me see the keys”
Trey put the escalade keys in his hands.
“Give us about 15 minutes” He winked his eye,signaling him and Onika was about to get it in then started making his way to the exit.
“That’s all you need is 15 minutes?” Robin raised her hands up to her mouth. “ONE MINUTE NIGGA GOING OUT THE EXIT!”
Everybody in the mall turned to look at tyga.
He stuck his middle finger up as he walked through the sliding doors.
Everybody started laughing except for me.
Alex noticed my behavior and stopped laughing. “What’s up with you?”
“I need to find that fake ass Santa Claus” I clenched my jaw tightly.
“What fake ass Sant-“
“Hey..” I heard Jazmine’s sweet voice and turned around then gasped when I saw that her infamous long “Poetic Justice” like braids were gone. Now,her hair was straight,cinnamon colored and a few inches shorter.
“Work it!” Robin snapped in a circle.
She blushed and fluffed her hair. “Do you like it?” She looked to me for an answer.
“It’s umm..” I stared at her in awe of her beauty,the color brought her smooth brown sugar complexion out nicely.
“You don’t like it..” She said sadly.
“No! I do!” I blurted out then calmed down. “I do..I just gotta get used to it”
She smiled a little. “Are you guys ready to go? I still have to wrap some gifts..”
“Yeah the mall is about to close anyway” Drake grabbed his bags then wrapped his arm around Robin’s shoulders. “You look beautiful” He kissed her cheek softly.
She blushed and looked down.
“Trey..” Alex wrapped his arm around his shoulders. “You look beautiful” He bat his eyelashes.
Trey burst out laughing. “Fuck outta here!” He mushed his head.
Alex laughed. “Yo,let’s go” He stood up and picked his bags up. “It’s getting too mushy in here,drake all in his feelings,Robin all in her feelings..”
“Chris all in his feelings about Jazz” Trey smirked.
Me and Jazmine sucked our teeth at the same time.
“Jazz all in her feelings about Chris” They said at the same time.
“Trey got gifts for every single one of his hoes” Jazmine smiled wide.
“I ain’t got no hoes” He dust his crisp black rocawear hoodie off.
“What do you call them skanks then?” Robin asked.
“I call them my associates” He winked at her then stood up.
“I swear you think you a pimp” Alex shook his head.
“I am what I am my white nigga” He slapped his head playfully then grabbed his bags. “Let’s g-“
“Attention shoppers,the mall will be closing in 15 minutes. We ask that you gather your things and start leaving the mall” The woman announced over the intercom.
“That’s our cue to go” All of them started walking towards the exit when they noticed I wasn’t with them.
Jazmine turned around and looked in my eyes. “Come on..”
I looked around the mall for the old man. “Nah,I can’t leave..”
“What you mean you can’t leave? Com-“
“I gotta find that old man” I jogged to the escalator and got on.
“Chris wait!” Jazmine climbed on it and ran up the few steps to get to me. “Oh my God,I’m on an escalator”
I looked back at her and she was sweating profusely. “ye..ah” I said slowly. “What’s the problem?”
“I hate escalators” She held onto the railing as she took deep breaths.
I squinted my eyes then turned around to face her.
“Don’t!” She held her hand up. “Don’t move! These things can crash!”
I held my laughter in. “Jazmine,it’s just an escalator”
“It’s stairs th-tha-that move” She stuttered. “That’s weird”
“No that’s normal,you’re weird” I moved a piece of her hair behind her ear. “Chill out,it’s not gonna hurt you and it’s not gonna crash”
She calmed down just in time for us to approach the top. “Come on..” I pulled her off the escalator.
She inhaled deeply then exhaled. “I’m alive..” She flashed her beautiful smile.
“Yes,you’re alive Jazmine. It’s a miracle” I joked then turned around and looked at the huge toy store. “Obviously this dude likes kids..”
“What dude?” She asked. “What are you looking for? Whatever it is,you need to hurry up and find it. The mall is gonna be closing in about 10 minutes”
I ignored her and walked inside the toy store. “Wow..” I gasped.
The store was huge and filled with all kinds of toys,the way they decorated it for Christmas was amazing. There was decorated white Christmas trees in every corner of the store,gold and silver garland on the ceiling,white Christmas lights on the ceiling and silver glitter all over the floor.
“This is beautiful..” Jazmine whispered in my ear.
I looked back at her,there was a gleam in her eyes that made me smile. “Come on..” I grabbed her hand and pulled her to an barbie aisle.
“I used to love barbie dolls when I was younger” She picked a black barbie doll up.
“Don’t front,you know you still like them” I teased.
She chuckled. “Ugh,shut up” She slapped my arm playfully.
“Chris!” Alex and Trey ran over to us.
“Shh” I put my index finger up to my lips.
“We need to go before we get locked in the mall” Trey whispered.
“Yeah,everybody is out of the mall and they’re getting ready to lock the doors” Alex added.
“Will being locked in a mall be a bad thing?” I looked in Trey’s eyes. “Think about it..” I put my index finger up to the right side of my head.
“You’re not thinking about stealing from the ma-” Trey paused as we heard foot steps coming from the backroom.
“Get down” I mouthed then scrunched down and pulled Jazmine down with me.
Trey and Alex followed suit and scrunched down with us.
“Ooh what are you wearing?” A woman said and I looked through the little space between the dolls at the middle aged blonde woman locking the backdoor. “Ooh a thong?” She turned the lights off then walked to the entrance. “That is so sexy honey” She punched in “347602” on the alarm then walked out of the store and locked the doors behind her.
I watched her walk away from the doors. “I’ll be right back” I whispered to them then eased over to the alarm and typed the code in then turned a switch on.
The trees lit up and the lights on the ceiling lit up.
“Wow..” Jazmine stood up and smiled. “This is absolutely beautiful”
“Agreed but we need to get the fuck out of here” Trey said angrily as he stood up.
“Why? We got this whole toy store to ourselves” Alex walked over to me then grabbed a candy cane off the tree beside me and took the wrapping off. “Who needs Santa Claus when we got this?” He bit the candy cane.
“Better yet,why not capture Santa Claus when he comes to leave gifts under the tree?” I walked behind the counter and sat down on the black office chair then propped my feet up on the desk.
“The fuck are you talking about?” Trey turned his face up. “Santa Claus is not real and I’m sure they got us on camera right now!”
“No they don’t,this mall is what I call lazy and cheap. They only keep the cameras on during the day,not the night. I know because I cased this place with Nelly before,they don’t even have security at night. Only during the day” I shook my head. “Backward ass niggas”
“Wow,I’m surprised nobody has ever tried to rob this place before” Jazmine said amazed.
“I didn’t say they didn’t have alarms,if somebody tries to break in,an alarm will go off” I opened the register and grabbed the money out of it,making sure I only grabbed the bills not the change and put the money in my pocket then closed the register.
“Or if somebody tries to get out while the alarm is on,I’m sure it will go the fuck off” Trey cut his eyes. “We need to go”
“Chill my cornrow head friend” I smiled wide. “I have the code,relax,enjoy all the toys while we wait for Santa Claus”
They looked at me like I was insane.
“Look” I sat up straight. “This toy store gives gifts to orphan children on Christmas day,it’s Christmas eve. I’m sure the goody two shoes,jolly white fella will be here to put gifts under the tree for the orphans”
An awkward silence filled the room.
“He’s real!” I blurted out. “Or at least I think he is,he got something that belongs to me and I’m gonna get it back”
Jazmine and Trey locked eyes.
“Uh yeah ok” Trey clapped his hands together loudly. “Drake,Onika,Tyga and Robin are waiting for us in the ca-“
“I ain’t going anywhere until I see that mothafucka” I said sternly.
“So you’re planning on being here until you die then?” Alex laughed.
“He’s real! I’m telling you that mothafucka is rea-“
“Chris,have you been drinking?” Jazmine asked,sounding concerned.
“No! He’-” I stopped in mid sentence when I heard the sound of bells jingling coming from the ceiling.
All of us raised our heads up slowly.
“Oh my God..” Jazmine whispered. “Do you hear that?”
There was a sound of a loud thump against the ceiling while the bells stopped jingling.
“Hide” I mouthed.
They ran to the aisles then scrunched down.
I slid down on the floor quietly and waited patiently for the old white man to show his face.
Out of nowhere,he appeared by the tree with a red bag filled with toys.
I lost my breath as I stared at him. “How did he do th-“
“Oh my God!” Jazmine blurted out but he didn’t even budge.
“You can come out now kids” He put some presents under the tree.
I swallowed hard then stood up and glanced over at Jazmine who was shocked out of her mind. “I told you” I mouthed then focused my attention back on him,he was no longer wearing his trench coat. He was now wearing a red and white suit and black boots.
“You’re the weird Kris Kringle dude..” Alex walked over to him.
He laughed,sounding just like the Santa Claus cartoons. “That’s what they say,Merry Christmas son” He gave him a gold gift wrapped box with a big gold bow on it. “You’ve been wanting that ever since you were 4 years old”
Alex jaw dropped as tears blurred his vision. “You mean..” He opened the present up and tears cascaded down his red cheeks.
“What is it?” Trey and Jazmine walked over to him.
“It’s the red ranger” He held the power rangers action figure up and laughed a little. “I wanted this when I was 4 years old but my mom and dad didn’t have enough money to get it”
“And the elves didn’t make enough of those that year,they were very lazy” He shook his head while he grabbed another gift out of his bag.
“I cannot believe you are real..” Jazmine stared at him in awe. “I’m guessing we’ve been too naughty for gifts huh?”
“Hmm you know that answer in your beautiful big heart Jazmine and because of that beautiful big heart..” He looked at me. “Chris has bought you the gift you wanted”
She looked in my eyes. “Really?”
I shrugged my shoulders. I didn’t know what to say,I was completely speechless.
He walked over to me and slid the small plush white box over to me then winked his eye. “Jazmine will give you the gift you so desperately want and Trey..” He snapped his fingers and the door flew open while the mall lights turned on. “Your present is a safe way out”
“Thank you Santa” Trey hugged him then ran out of the door with Alex close behind him.
He laughed so jolly then winked one more time and disappeared into thin air.
“Ok..we just met Santa Claus and saw him appear then disappear” Jazmine looked stunned.
“Told you he was real” I put the box in my green camouflage hoodie. “Come on,let’s get out of here” I jumped over the counter then grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the store to find people walking around the mall shopping and talking. “What the fu-“
“Attention shoppers,the mall will be closing in 15 minutes. We ask that you gather your things and start leaving the mall”The woman announced over the intercom again.
Me and Jazmine slowly turned our heads to look at each other. “Wh-“
“There you guys are!” Drake and Robin ran over to us carrying their bags. “The mall is about to close! Let’s go!” They pulled us over to the escalator then all of us ran down the escalator and was greeted by Trey and Alex who had the same surprised look on their faces as me and Jazmine.
“What is wrong with you guys?” Drake looked back and forth between us.
“Nothing,you wouldn’t believe us if we told you” Trey said truthfully. “Let’s just get the hell out of this magical,evil mall” He started power walking to the exit.
Drake and Robin looked confused as hell.
“It’s a long story” Alex wrapped his arm around Robin’s shoulders. “Come on,I’ll tell you guys about it on the way out” Both of them started walking to the exit.
“Wait! How did you get that power rangers toy?” Drake ran behind them.
Jazmine laughed a little then looked at me. “Let’s go” She tried to walk away but I grabbed her hand. She looked back at me. “What?”
“I have a gift I want you to open right now..” I pulled the box out of my hoodie.
She looked down at the box then in my eyes. “Chris,you didn’t have t-“
“But I wanted to,so bad” I laughed. “Please open it..” I put it in her hand.
She smiled then opened the box. Her eyes grew wide while her bottom lip dropped. “Chris..” She looked in my eyes with tear filled eyes. “This is beautiful..”
“Like you..” I took it out of the box and got behind her.I put it around her neck as the smell of her Strawberry and cream perfume tickled my nose. I latched the hook then kissed the back of her neck softly. “Merry Christmas..”
She grabbed the heart charm then looked back at me.”Thank you..”
I stared at her lips and bit my bottom lip.”Jazm-“
“Guys you HAVE to come see this!” Onika stood in the doorway,snapping us out of our moment. “Come on!”
Both of us ran out the sliding doors and smiled from ear to ear when we saw Santa driving his red and gold sleigh in the night sky.
I glanced over at Tyga,Drake,Robin and Onika with their jaws dropped damn near the ground then at Trey and Alex with smiles on their faces.
I focused my attention back on Jazmine who was staring at the sky with a gleam in her eyes. “I love you Jazmine..” I whispered in her ear softly.
She looked in my eyes while tears cascaded down to her lips. “I love you too..” She whispered back then planted the softest kiss on my lips.
I broke the kiss when I felt something cold and wet on my face. Both of us looked up to the sky and watched the snow pouring down then looked at Santa passing by in his magical sleigh.
“Merry Christmas to all and to all a Good night!”